She was never able to trace the changes her attitude had undergone, from the time when she believed herself to be the pampered Queen of Fortune, the crown of a good man’s love (and secretly, but nobly, worshipping some one else), to the time when she realized she was in fact just a mannequin for her lover’s imagination, and that he cared no more for the realities of her being, for the things she felt and desired, for the passions and dreams that might move her, than a child cares for the sawdust in its doll. She decided that she would try to push whatever resolve he had in the car to see where it would lead. It was after all a momentary affair. I was sorry for what I did afterwards; for, I don't know why, but, poor, lady! with her pale face, and black eyes, she reminded me of my mother. She went down, flushed and light-hearted, to the Widgetts’ after lunch to make some final arrangements and then, as soon as her aunt had retired to lie down for her usual digestive hour, took the risk of the servants having the enterprise to report her proceedings and carried her bag and hold-all to the garden gate, whence Teddy, in a state of ecstatic service, bore them to the railway station. When Mr. Jack instandly extinguished the light, and called to his comrade to come after him. That “entirely English” comment was said just to provoke me. “I’d give anything to kiss your neck. I've got an address here. ” She raised her eyebrows. “When did you look up my mother’s records at the Joliet library, Michelle?” Lucy asked, trying not to incriminate herself by sounding confrontational. Leonardo had told her it would happen, and warned her to make use of it. If ever he requires my services, he shall find I'm not ungrateful. So he resolved to try another tack.
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